Friday, May 28, 2010

It's Raining, it's Pouring

I've been super-depressed these past few days and real antsy. I've been getting some pretty nasty dreams too. It's bad enough that I wake up damning the sun and the day sometimes but to have my brain filled with images from bad dreams doesn't help, either. At least I finally took a nice, hot shower last night and shaved my legs. I love the way my legs feel against each other when they're freshly de-fuzzed, it makes sleeping all the better.

It's been raining outside and it's windy, perfect for hiding out and not feeling guilty about it. I mean when it's a beautiful day I feel like a freak stuck in my room, like some sort of eccentric people-hater but that's not how it is at all. I get really scared, really, PROFOUNDLY terrified. I want to do things right this time. I want to pursue a legitimate writing job and I also want to be my own boss. I'm going to write a letter to the editors of newspapers with samples of my writing and my interests. Frankly, I'm willing to do anything as long as I get my foot in the door. Our papers here in Winnipeg need something unique, something light, something like a writer who conducts social experiments, for example or something Carrie Bradshawish. But original. Gotta try doing it. It's now or never and anyways how long before someone actually goes crazy by not living an authentic life? I know I will if I don't and I don't know how I even maintained my sanity (or most of it) by living otherwise. I guess that's where the drug part comes in.

Super-bored tonight. Wish I had someone to play Scrabble with. Oh, God Angela stop feeling sorry for yourself and go watch some TV................

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hope you'll feel better soon :(
Bad dreams are terrifying and then they keep hanging around in your mind all day...
Writing is what helps best when i'm feeling depressed. As well as finding something new that i like, whatever it may be.

The thing with the shaved legs made me smile. Because it's the same with me. It feels so much more cozy then.

Great idea to get a writing job! I can really imagine that you would do great. Just do it :)

Angela said...

Hi girl,

Holy, it's been raining NON-STOP these last few days. All's I wanna do is get underneath my cosy comforter and watch TV while fanatasizing about my future as a writer teehee. Seriously, though, you ALWAYS make me feel MUCH better when all's I wanna do is give up sometimes. People need each other, to encourage and understand each other.

I really need a crush, though. This is the first time in my life that I don't have a boyfriend but I can't find one barricaded in my room.

So, explain this twitter thing to me? Has it been helpful/fun for you? Maybe I'll join. I still have to learn this copy and paste stuff, though--thanks for the suggestions.

Hope your weekend is going good. Keep up with the writing.

I shall talk to you in a bit. In the mean time, try and stay away from obnoxious people who work at pharmacies!

Anonymous said...

We have kind of the same weather here. It's raining so much! Well, i like low temperatures. But non-stop rain isn't funny either...

Do you feel a bit better today? I hope so.

I found my boyfriend when i was least expecting it. I'm sure you'll find someone - it just happens :)

I'm using Twitter as a way to communicate, or when i want to post something that doesn't quite need it's own blog post. I found some really nice people on there and it's fun.

LOL i always thought that embedding videos is kind of complicated until i tried it.

My weekend is good so far. I won't be here in the afternoon, because we go to a restaurant with my boyfriends parents. When it's Sunday noon here, it'll be early Sunday morning in Winnipeg. Timezones...

I'm not sure if i'll be able to post today, since i won't be home much. But i'll post on Monday again.

No pharmacy drama anymore... i promise ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey, how are you? Do you feel better?

I'm sorry for not posting, but i didn't feel so well. So i didn't want to whine again on my blog lol.

But i'll post soon. Take care!

Angela said...

Hey girl

I'll be posting today FOR SURE, I've been kinda down lately. Loved your video btw.

We'll talk/write soon, sweatheart.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, i know how this is. I can't really write anything when i'm feeling down either.

Glad you liked the video!

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