My Wreckage

It's 4 a.m. and I can't sleep. All's I do is cry and examine the wreckage that is my life. Nothing changes with me because I don't know how to change it. I need a miracle, a small one, not asking for much. I need validation and I need my son. I need to be my best self and I need my son. I need total independence and I need my son. Is anybody out there? I am so alone. I don't seek or ask for unreasonable pleasures, just to be independent and to be with my son. I need to take a chance and take this writing all the way because what else do I have left? I realize that we all have our struggles but mine seem so never-ending and I wonder what I am doing to stand in my own way. I guess I'll go drink some hot milk and try to get back to sleep, a sleep that is filled with confusion and the inevitable waking up and facing the wreckage that is my life................