Mom is Just a Three Letter Word

First time since I've been on methadone that I woke up at 4am with the worst migraine in the world!!! Had an awful fight with my mother yesterday over the most idiotic thing: she was talking to this lady on the phone that she had bumped into church the day before and the lady began pumping her for information about my sisters and I (as most Greek woman do or perhaps all, I really don't know). So, Mother gets off the phone and informs me that I need to get a job right away and how this lady's son was interested in me before I got married and how I didn't "go for it" and how embarassed she when people bring me up, etc. Well, call me weak, call me what you want but my self-esteem shattered right before my very eyes!! How awful for me to have to endure this woman's attitude. She doesn't care about anything but her "image" and how I've spoiled it for her. Oh well, that's fucking tough and not my problem. I told her not to take her insecurities out on me and I went even further and advised her to make up an occupation for me. Tell her friends that I'm a nurse or something, they'll never know and it would take the pressure off of her. I've totally lost respect for her. Isn't a mother suppossed to protect their children at all costs???!!! It's really hard for me to go back now. My trust in her is nil. Yes, she did help me this winter but what good is that? I've had to walk on eggshells the entire time. And this woman has got heaps and heaps of hostility inside of her. How can I not let it get to me?